So about 2 years or so ago i would definitely not be making the statement "I love to Pray" the whole prospect of it was if I'm honest quite daunting! And yes i have always believed that prayer is completely instrumental to our walk with God. I guess i just didn't enjoy it, I think it was just the thing that i did because i knew it was what i was meant to do. And i didn't really find any joy in it. I think a huge part of this was my spiritual maturity and that i loved God i just wasn't IN LOVE with him!
But over the past two years or so God has been dealing with me on the prayer subject, Because to go where i was going and am going with my life none of it would be possible without serious intercession.
God threw me right in the deep end with serious serious prayer meetings! And i was thinking i do know how to pray but not for long. Which is really weird when i think about it now because when i was a child i used to pray HUGE prayers not just about myself, about the world, cruelty and world hunger. And i used to take so much joy in knowing i was making a difference even if i wasn't seeing it with my very eyes! I sometimes think that my relationship with God was actually stronger when i was a child than the years that have followed it. I think I'm only just getting back to that childlike faith now.
Anyway I'm getting distracted like i always do lol.
So yeah i was thrown into these meetings and ill be honest i was totally totally out of my depth. Because these other people praying had this deeper love going on with God that I'd hadn't felt in a long time.
And so after these meetings funnily enough the subjects at youth, church and just randomly popping up were about prayer. And so i began to become scared that i really can't pray because even people younger than me had these extravagant prayers and a passion that i just didn't have. But sure enough God showed me that wasn't true and suddenly i found my prayer voice had come back and i started to get the passion again! I wasn't completely there but i was getting there at least.
Not long after we started having youth prayer meetings once a month and that's where things really started to change i started to let go more and more.
But I'd have to say when i was completely transformed prayer wise was when myself and two friends were asked to pray for the young people at The Gathering. I was totally up for it but completely freaked! because i was like i know it's not about how good the prayer sounds or is ! but it's scary praying for people younger, the same age or older than me! So i did some huge covering of myself in prayer then. But it wasn't until i actually got out there and started putting my hand on the shoulders of the young people that i completely changed. God took me over completely i found myself saying things i would never say. But were completely apt for the young people. And then people started going out in the holy spirit and i actually said God yeah i want that so much but I'm scared. In the end i said so what if God wants to use me to put the holy spirit on them then who am i to come between his plans for the young peoples lives. And sure enough strange strange things started to happen i even started to see and feel the pain in peoples lives. It was an incredible experience i would never want to change it. It was just amazing!
And since then i just have the greatest passion for prayer it's just incredible. It's literally like picking your mobile up an calling him and although it doesn't work the same where he replies right away in a clear voice. You DO hear back from him in much better ways then if you'd just heard it from his mouth. Because then you learn at the same time!
This by the way was not what i planned to say at all. but you know how God works i guess someone needs to hear this :)
Let me know if it's you!
Prayer works! Even when its just a passing comment. It doesn't matter if its half-hearted God still hears an answers ! And how do you think you get to the point of passion in prayer if you don't start somewhere! :)
Love lots Rhexxxx
